Friendsmas do's and don'ts with Montreal's hospitality experts

With the holidays come Friendsmas parties, those ideal and intimate events where you can get together for good times with everyone from loved ones and acquaintances to total strangers you're meeting for the first time.

But good party planning is a skill in itself, and it can be difficult to know how to do it right. We thought it best to leave it to the professionals, people who know the ins and outs of hospitality, what it means to be a good host, and who have good social common sense.

So we spoke with four experts in the field—Tavern on the Square co-owner and Bromellier co-founder Jon Cercone, Bistro La Franquette co-owner and general manager Renée Deschenes, Tuck Shop co-owner Jon Metcalfe, and Nolan host and server Tiffany Golarz—for a do's and don'ts guide to Friendsmas that covers everything from the logistics of hosting and food & drink options to creating the right atmosphere, entertainments, gift-giving, how to make nights memorable, and faux pas to avoid.

General planning

DO: Plan ahead to reduce stress and ensure a seamless flow. Decide on the size of the gathering early to set the tone.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “The holidays are special but can also be stressful. To reduce the stress, like in a restaurant, it’s all about planning ahead. Decide whether it’s going to be a big gathering or something more intimate—that sets the tone for everything.”

DO: Keep it simple—prepping food and drinks in advance allows you to enjoy the party alongside your guests.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Be prepared! You've opened your home to your closest friends for the holidays, make sure the fundamentals are covered. Plan a menu that can be executed while simultaneously being a gracious host—which means dishes that can be prepared in advance, or otherwise finished relatively easily. Have your tables set, playlist rolling, drinks chilled, and amuses bouches laid out for their arrival. And of course, rather than get stressed as you reach the crescendo of dishes coming together, don't be shy to ask for help rather than try and shoulder everything. People want to be involved rather than watch you be a holiday hero.”

Renée Deschenes (Bistro la Franquette): "Beer and wine are no-brainers. Go with something like Heineken for beer and offer both red and white wine since people usually prefer one or the other. For cocktails, start with a low-ABV spritzer and have a simple two-ingredient option like an Old Fashioned or a Godfather. And I’m more of a coffee-and-Baileys person—perfect for Christmas morning."

DON'T: Underestimate the work involved. Set a proper start time to avoid delays, especially for guests with kids or commitments.

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “I think one common mistake is underestimating the amount of work involved and not setting a proper start time. People show up, things aren’t ready, and dinner ends up being served at 9:30 or 10 p.m., which might be okay sometimes, but it’s not ideal if guests have kids or other commitments. Over-preparing is always better than under-preparing.”

Guest Lists

DO: Invite your core group, then add a few “friendship rookies” to introduce new dynamics and connections.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Go with your core group, and then consider your friendship rookies of the year that you think your best friends would get along with. If your friendship is the common denominator, ideally everyone should get along, and it gives everyone a chance to make new friends with vetted guests - something that gets more challenging as we get older.”

DON'T: Overload your guest list. Aim for either an intimate gathering or a larger party to avoid awkward in-betweens.

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “I like to keep it either really intimate or make it a larger party. For me, it’s either six people or 15. Anything in between can be awkward, like when people don’t know each other well and are forced into uncomfortable interactions.”

Food & Drinks

DO: Hybrid potluck—design the menu, assign specific dishes to guests, and have non-cooking attendees bring beverages or games.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Game planning via communication is key. Try and create a channel or medium where people can share what they are bringing, and also share allergies or restrictions. Be vocal in the group chat, try and minimize assembly at your home. Make sure you know ahead of time what needs to be heated or not, and share your kitchen infrastructure in advance so there are no unpleasant surprises if people require certain tools. While potluck assumes vessels, don't trust anyone to bring serving utensils unless specified, but I'd take the lead on that. Have the table already set with dishes and flatware and a receiving area in your kitchen. Cold dishes can be dropped off upon arrival, and dishes to be finalized or heated can be organized by temp and time.”

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): "Potlucks can be great, but only if your guests are punctual. Timing is everything. I’ve been to parties where dinner starts ridiculously late, and that’s tough. Also, avoid serving polarizing dishes—no calves’ brains or anything extreme. Be mindful of dietary restrictions and picky eaters. Keep it simple: meat, potatoes, maybe a salad."

DO: Offer a variety of options to accommodate dietary restrictions and personal preferences.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “For food, be aware of allergies, especially nuts. Always ask your guests beforehand—you don’t want anyone having an allergic reaction. You definitely don’t want to call 911 on Christmas.”

DON'T: Serve polarizing dishes (e.g., raisins, fruitcake, or turkey). Stick to crowd-pleasers like roast beef or tourtière.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “Unless you literally have the greatest fruitcake in the world, it’s just going to sit there, uneaten.”

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “No turkey. It’s dry, bland, and just not worth it.”

DO: Set up a self-serve bar with simple but festive drink options. Add touches like cranberries, pomegranate, or rosemary for a holiday vibe.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “A self-serve bar is great during the holidays. Keep it simple but festive: cranberries, pomegranate, rosemary, maybe some cloves. Toss cranberries into a Negroni or pomegranate into a glass of bubbly—it’s festive without being over-the-top. Rosemary sprigs add a nice touch, whether it’s cider, beer, or cocktails. And don’t be afraid to use whatever’s available. Small apartment? Fill a bathtub with ice and champagne bottles—it works!”

DON'T: Forget about non-alcoholic options for non-drinkers or kids.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): "And remember, some people aren’t drinking during the holidays—have options for them, like non-alcoholic Amaro or ginger ale. Kids love festive drinks too.”

Décor & Atmosphere

DO: Use mood lighting, candles, and greenery for a cozy vibe. Minimal decorations work well if you’re short on time or budget.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Mood lighting and vegetation. Grab some spruce boughs and toss some tea candles into mason jars.”

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “Skip the holiday-patterned napkins. Fresh greenery and candles are timeless and smell amazing.”

DO: Focus on sentimental or meaningful items to personalize the space.

Renée Deschenes (Bistro la Franquette): “I’ll put out items with sentimental value, like vintage Christmas ornaments from my grandmother.”

DON'T: Overcomplicate décor with themed napkins or overly elaborate setups.

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “I’m not big on overly themed décor, but fresh flowers or greenery are nice touches.”

Entertainment

DO: Keep guests engaged with interactive activities like games or at-home wine tastings. Be prepared to lead the rules and keep the energy positive.

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “At my gatherings, I like to keep things interactive. I often do at-home wine tastings and give a little spiel about the wines—it’s a great conversation starter.”

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “If it's a sort of game, have the rules memorized and be assertive in leading the charge. You gotta be both a referee and a hypeman. And like in improv, be positive and move things forward. It's the holidays, keep the sarcastic observations for the side chat.”

DO: Use conversational games like charades or Heads Up! to maintain a lively atmosphere.

Renée Deschenes (Bistro la Franquette): “For me, it’s about the people and the culture of my family—there’s always a bit of silliness, like singing or playing participatory games that don’t require you to be good at them. We’ve also played Heads Up! and charades, which keep the energy up.”

DON'T: Interrupt organic conversations with overly structured activities unless they suit the group dynamic.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Honestly, my favourite activity is typically receiving people and being part of all the different conversations that evolve —but the holidays are actually one time of year where I will go all in on any jeux de société or parlour game.”

Gifting Etiquette

DO: Consider Secret Santa with a spending limit for simplicity and inclusivity—or avoid it altogether.

Jon Cercone (Tavern on the Square): “We do Secret Santa with a spending limit, which keeps things fun and light without people feeling pressured to overspend.”

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): "Gifting is nice but not necessary. For mixed family and friend gatherings, separate the family gift exchange. If it’s just friends, Secret Santa is fine if everyone agrees, but the real gift is spending time together."

DON'T: Drag out gift exchanges—keep the momentum going. Have a trash bag ready for wrapping paper cleanup.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Don't do the cadeau voleur thing - that takes forever. Do a Secret Santa like everyone else, set the limit, and keep things moving when it comes to the actual time to exchange. We typically do a Secret Santa for our staff party and the key is just to keep the momentum going. Did someone not make it? Doesn't matter - call out who they were supposed to give/receive and move on. Have a trash bag ready and put garbage away immediately.”

House Rules & Cleanup

DO: Politely enforce house rules with humour or light-hearted comments.

Renée Deschenes (Bistro la Franquette): “If someone’s in a space they shouldn’t be, I’d distract them. Offer them a drink or engage them in conversation to guide them back to the main area.”

DO: Tidy up as you go, and encourage close friends to pitch in with light cleaning.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Friends who are invited to your Friendsmas are ideally those who care to pitch in. But the host should set a hardline on what that includes. Aesthetic tidying is good, deep dish cleaning should be reserved for family affairs.”

DON'T: Expect deep cleaning from guests—reserve that for family affairs.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “Aesthetic tidying is good, deep dish cleaning should be reserved for family affairs.”

Memorable Touches

DO: Provide disposable or Polaroid cameras for candid memories. Identify one person to take photos to streamline the process.

Tiffany Golarz (Nolan): “For making memories, I love having disposable or Polaroid cameras on hand. The photos are so candid.”

DO: Include partners and close connections to deepen relationships and make the gathering more inclusive.

Jon Metcalfe (Tuck Shop): “I met my girlfriend's book club for the first time at our Christmas party, along with all their partners. Including all the spouses of the people you appreciate the most is really significant. We ended up creating our own book club support group since we realized simultaneously that most of the meetings were spent exchanging gossip and we all already knew the dirt on each other because it then got brought home to us ''in secret''—which actually just made us all closer.”

DON'T: Run out of food or drinks—abundance is key for making everyone feel taken care of.

Renée Deschenes (Bistro la Franquette): “Much like in a restaurant, abundance makes people feel taken care of. That applies to house parties too—abundance in terms of both quantity and variety. For example, with beverages, if you don’t know your guests well, having a range of options increases the chances of offering something they’ll enjoy. It helps them settle in more easily."